Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Why do we tell each others to buzz off all the time. Why is there so much hatred and awkwardness? Where did all of this come from?
Sometimes I wonder why we can not just choose to be happy. It is a choice right?
Last week I walked into a store. The store had many items to choose from but the items I wanted were not in stock. Everything was either too expensive or out of my reach on the highest shelf possible. What do I do? What I need is not available. Where do I find what I need. Apples were in the corner and all different types of meats and vegetables were in the back but nothing was here for me. Everyone else seemed to be so happy with what they were finding but were they really happy? I want something but I don’t know how to get it. I want something but I don’t know where to reach for it. What is this want? When will it grace me? I am not inspired. Could a box of expensive noodles and gourmet sauce inspire me. What will inspire me? What inspires you? Do you get inspired?
I have a whole new perception of jealousy, nosiness, bossy’ness, complainers, and just flat out ‘dream squashers.’
How come people are so itching to tell you that you are doing something wrong or that your dreams are not worth going after or why other people are always wondering how ‘your’ life is going?
Attention is precious and it is sad that people give all of their attention away to other people’s concerns and problems and not their own. You wonder why others take the time and energy in letting someone else know that their dreams are pointless. Why do people do this? Is it because they don’t have a dream of their own to keep alive and feed?
Why are people nosy also? Why are people mean? Why do people say nasty things to each other? What is the point?
It is sad that they don’t realize how precious attention is and they use it for the dumbest things. Maybe they just have nothing better to do with it so they waste it but they don’t really realize what they are doing…yeah that’s it. It has to be it. If they really knew what they were doing they wouldn’t do it.
I wonder if attention can be received…like if you can pick up out of the trash the attention that other people so easily throw away? Interesting idea right…? Mmmm…Maybe I’ll try it. I guess the key is to not react and be open. What ever they threw out has to be floating around somewhere?
When someone ever dumps crap all over you and lets you have it, when they are mean, nosy, or obnoxious…realize that they are the ones being robbed not you. But…this is so hard to do without getting angry because those people never see your point of view. Honestly, I don’t think they are able to. I mean they could but you know what I mean…
We are all animals fighting for food. There are nice animals, loving ones, hateful ones...but they are all still fighting for food. They haven't realized where to find it themselves.
I found this in my Journal from 1993 and I wanted to share it with everyone
I still can’t believe I made this move. It’s my 6th month in Los Angeles and I really do love it. I met the best boyfriend ever, Boynton. He’s so different than all my other boyfriends in the way that he’s super buff but super duper sweet. I’ve never dated anyone like him before. He is exactly what I need right now, his comfort. Even though I love him, I don’t see us getting married or anything but he has taught me so many things about life and love.
When I told mom he used to be a dancer at a male review, she flipped her nuts, but anyone who meets him sees nothing but a sincere angel.
He is just what I have been waiting for.
)
I have everything I’ve ever wanted but I still have my ‘not so good’ moments.
The weather is so nice out today. It’s so sunny and bright but I kind of want it to be grey and wet. Something just isn’t right and it’s not fair.
I had such a great week last week. This week took a turn for the worse. I began to spiral but I made sure I held on to any crumb of an ounce of life that was still remaining in my blood.
I called Boynton when I got off work and he met me immediately because I told him how bad I felt. I just needed someone to really care and he knew that. I left my car at work and he drove. We ended up going through the drivethru at Checkers and then made our way to the beach.
Neither one of us talked, we just sat there for an hour straight.
I just needed to know that ’someone’ cared, that’s all.
Sometimes it’s so nice just know that someone cares for you because when caring for yourself is sometimes so hard you just need that extra hand.
Yesterday I bought a clunker for $200.00. I do have a ‘regular’ car, a decent car, a nice 2004 Nissan Pathfinder but I have always wanted a horrible clunker that could die any split second. I saw it on the side of the road and I couldn’t resist. It was at this gas station about a mile away from my house so I parked my car in my driveway, walked back to the gas station and bought the piece of crap. I was so proud of this rusted, noisy, mangly looking car.
You know the saying, ‘live like your dying.’ Well…I have always wanted to do that with a car. I have always wanted to not worry about tomorrow and not feel bad if I drove over a curve or hit the edge of a brick wall or ran over a parking bumper. I am sick and tired of living in fear, of living so carefully…so that is why I bought this car.
The next day when I drove it I didn’t care about a thing. I drove over curbs, over grass medians and I didn’t even care when I clipped a tree. It was so liberating.
That night, the car was about falling apart and I think I had brought it to its last day on earth. It was off to car heaven.
It sits in my dri veway as a reminder to be free, to live life to its fullest potential, to live like it is your last day on earth…to love freely.
Today sucks. I lost lost my job and my mother hates me and my father thinks I’m a loser. But…people have I got news for you, I am determined to win the lottery. ‘They’ say that when you are determined and put your mind to something that ANYTHING can happen. Today I went to the gas station and bought $500.00 worth of scratch offs. Hell yeah, I have got to win. How can I not win something?
I plan on being rich within one month. By then I will have spent my entire life savings in hopes of hittin’ iT big. All you suckers out there that want a part of my winnings…I DON’T THINK SO!!!!!!!!
MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE…except I do plan on giving some money back to my community. I’ll let you all know when I win and I am out of here. ARUBA HERE I COME BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
