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Why do we tell each others to buzz off all the time. Why is there so much hatred and awkwardness? Where did all of this come from?

Sometimes I wonder why we can not just choose to be happy. It is a choice right?

Last week I walked into a store. The store had many items to choose from but the items I wanted were not in stock. Everything was either too expensive or out of my reach on the highest shelf possible. What do I do? What I need is not available. Where do I find what I need. Apples were in the corner and all different types of meats and vegetables were in the back but nothing was here for me. Everyone else seemed to be so happy with what they were finding but were they really happy?  I want something but I don’t know how to get it. I want something but I don’t know where to reach for it. What is this want? When will it grace me?  I am not inspired. Could a box of expensive noodles and gourmet sauce inspire me. What will inspire me? What inspires you? Do you get inspired?

I have a whole new perception of jealousy, nosiness, bossy’ness, complainers, and just flat out ‘dream squashers.’

How come people are so itching to tell you that you are doing something wrong or that your dreams are not worth going after or why other people are always wondering how ‘your’ life is going?

Attention is precious and it is sad that people give all of their attention away to other people’s concerns and problems and not their own. You wonder why others take the time and energy in letting someone else know that their dreams are pointless. Why do people do this? Is it because they don’t have a dream of their own to keep alive and feed?

Why are people nosy also? Why are people mean? Why do people say nasty things to each other? What is the point?

It is sad that they don’t realize how precious attention is and they use it for the dumbest things. Maybe they just have nothing better to do with it so they waste  it but they  don’t really realize what they are doing…yeah that’s it. It has to be it. If they really knew what they were doing they wouldn’t do it.

I wonder if attention can be received…like if you can pick up out of the trash the attention that other people so easily throw away? Interesting idea right…? Mmmm…Maybe I’ll try it. I guess the key is to not react and be open. What ever they threw out has to be floating around somewhere?

When someone ever dumps crap all over you and lets you have it, when they are mean, nosy, or obnoxious…realize that they are the ones being robbed not you. But…this is so hard to do without getting angry because those people never see your point of view. Honestly, I don’t think they are able to. I mean they could but you know what I mean…

We are all animals fighting for food. There are nice animals, loving ones, hateful ones...but they are all still fighting for food. They haven't realized where to find it themselves.

I was told by a 65 year old woman that  Christmas lights look party’ish and “ghetto.” I was  angered by what she said but not too much.

I have Christmas lights in my garage. They light up my garage. This lady assumed a lot of things about me from some measly Christmas light.

From a set of Christmas lights that were hung on the ceiling for the sole use of illuminating the room, this lady assumed I was a partier and a slut. I kind of thought it was funny but at the same time was like, ‘WHAT!’ Some people are so weird in how they come up with crap in their head.

So…it is interesting how people formulate things in their minds, on what they add up and what they conclude as the answer. We all perceive things so differently. You wonder what happened to that persons mind along the way. Do you feel sorry, do you care, or do you decide to dislike them? That’s a tough call. Some people are just stuck…right, or they use the excuse that they have reached the age where you are supposed to be stuck.

So this morning my landlord walked into the kitchen as I was heating up some breakfast in the microwave. She insisted that I have to press stop twice on the microwave because when more than one of the LED green lights shines on the ‘timer’ display window…more electricity is used. People, is this true? Someone out there can you give me a response on this one?

I thought that was crazy and that my landlord was being a little over dramatic…but you tell me my oywebbers?

I found this in my Journal from 1993 and I wanted to share it with everyone

I still can’t believe I made this move. It’s my 6th month in Los Angeles and I really do love it. I met the best boyfriend ever, Boynton. He’s so different than all my other boyfriends in the way that he’s super buff but super duper sweet. I’ve never dated anyone like him before. He is exactly what I need right now, his comfort. Even though I love him, I don’t see us getting married or anything but he has taught me so many things about life and love.

When I told mom he used to be a dancer at a male review, she flipped her nuts, but anyone who meets him sees nothing but a sincere angel.

He is just what I have been waiting for. )

I have everything I’ve ever wanted but I still have my ‘not so good’ moments.

The weather is so nice out today. It’s so sunny and bright but I kind of want it to be grey and wet. Something just isn’t right and it’s not fair.

I had such a great week last week. This week took a turn for the worse. I began to spiral but I made sure I held on to any crumb of an ounce of life that was still remaining in my blood.

I called Boynton when I got off work and he met me immediately because I told him how bad I felt. I just needed someone to really care and he knew that. I left my car at work and he drove. We ended up going through the drivethru at Checkers and then made our way to the beach.

Neither one of us talked, we just sat there for an hour straight.

I just needed to know that ’someone’ cared, that’s all.
Sometimes it’s so nice just know that someone cares for you because when caring for yourself is sometimes so hard you just need that extra hand.